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Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

Last post 10-31-2008 2:48 by Steven North. 8 replies.
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  • 08-06-2008 12:12

    Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

    Hi all

    My name is Carol and my son Alex 10 yrs has been doing Dore program since 5 May 2007.  We are in Armadale, Perth in Western Australia. We were going to the Booragoon centre. We havent received any letters or information about the closure.  We went for his appointment at the start of June only to find that they were closed.  Thats when we first heard about it.  Now my son will not do the exercises and if I can get him to do one he doesnt do it to the best of his ability.  He has ADD and ADHD we too would like to get him off the medication and let him have a mind for himself.  But if we cant get the exercises done let alone get assessments to make sure he is improving whats the point, we are wasting money each month having to pay the finance company.  It cost us $6000 plus interest.  We cant really afford the $160 a month repayments but we try and manage for his sack.  I have been trying to get him to do these exercises since June but am not getting anywhere.  I dont even know if the centres are going to open again or not.  I got  book of exercises done for him off the net but still no avail.  He had made a good improvement over the time that he did do the exercises.  I tell him that he really only has about 6 - 9 months to go if he keeps improving the way he had been improving.  But this doesnt seem to work.  He says they arent open so they are not going to assess me so whats the point of doing them.  This is very frustrating to deal with as well as the ADD/ADHD.  I dont know anyone else that has been doing these exercises.  If you are close then please contact me and if you can give any help please contact me too.  I would love any help or just a cuppa and a talk anything really. :-) 

    Regards Carol Mum of Alex 10yrs

    Ps Sorry for rambling but with Depression this is so hard to take and deal with as well as my son too. Forgive me.

     

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  • 08-06-2008 23:15 In reply to

    Re: Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

    Hi Carol and Alex,

     My son Daniel is only mildly dyslexic so I cannot comprehend the stress you guys are under - however, I can relate to the suffering the tantrums, refusals and upset that comes with this programme (ours probably more than Dan's ha ha) - I cannot think of any clever advice other than push on with your exercises regardless.

     We are in the UK so popping round for a cuppa is out of the question but moral support I can offer.

     Alex - This is probably the biggest and hardest commitment you will make. If you can complete this course at 10 the world is your oyster! All the hard work and effort WILL be worth it in the end. At the age of 10 the end of the week seems like a lifetime. Do what you can with the exercises - if you cant manage the full time do half the first day and then try and better it every day after that. My son is 10 and struggled terribly with balance and spinning - so instead of 10 turns to the right we did 5 etc. Don't be disheartened with all the hard marks - Dan's last book before wind down was marked almost exclusively hard!

     We are thinking of you all

     Carla and Dan

    Kind regards

    Carla
  • 08-09-2008 1:54 In reply to

    Re: Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

    Hi Carol, my name is Kaylene and I too have a son with ADHD. He is also 10. I am having the same difficulties as you described in your post. I have tried just about everything that I can think of to get Mitch to do the exercises. He doesnt try and gives it a half hearted attempt to do them and I it so hard to figt a 10 year old about doing it with determination. Everyday I struggle with the feeling of giving up and chalking it up to a very expensive mistake. Mitch was on Ritalin LA 50g and he was bad tempered and angry and not following any instructions from anyone. He then started to talk about killing himself so we made the decision along with his teacher and pead. to take him off the meds. The first few weeks were a nightmare. Now it seems like a blur as I think I've tried to block it out. But in saying that we stuck to our decision and kept him of the meds and the school made alot of changes to accomadate Mitch to help him through this hard time. And now I'm happy to say that he is still med free and is doing quite well. He has put on a little bit of weight so now his ribs aren't showing, but most of all he has settled down and started to be a normal 10yr old boy(well as normal as you can get!!!). I didn't realise how far he has come until I read your post. We have decided to stick with it until Christmas and if the centres arent open by then I think we will start weaning him off the exericses. We have went and priced the trophys and will get one when it gets closer to the time and engrave it and have a family party with friends to celebrate the completion.

    There are a few tricks I have to get him to do them. One is that I try to make it as fun as possible for him. I say I couldn't do that and give it a go and make a fool of myself and he wants to help me do it better and keeps showing me how to do it by him doing it hence actually doing the exercise. Also I let him listen to music if he is on mental tasks. He has to sing the words to the songs while doing the exercises. That means listening to his music really loud tho. Another is if he wants to go somewhere we have to do the exercises before we leave or we don't go. That will mean that you will be late for a few things so pick things that its ok to do that with. But the old favorite of mine is a simple and easy bribe. Money, lollies,watching movies, spending time with just him for 1\2 hour afterwards, a bedtime story, picking what we have for dinner tonite, something from the canteen at school. anything that you know he wants and asks for all the time. I even get his nanna or dad to do it with him sometimes just to break the feeling of him being alone doing them.

    By the way have you actually tried the exercises? Some of them do make you feel a bit funny afterwards and I tell him I know how he feels and he seems to relate better to me once he knows I know how he feels after doing them.

    These are a few of my suggestion but I know its hard. You have to find what it right for both of you and stick to it. He will benifit for it for the rest of his life. Hang in there I know its hard. If you want to chat (sorry I forgot to tell you I'm in brisbane) you can send me a email [ edited ] Good luck and dont give up!!

    Kaylene - Queensland,Australia
  • 08-09-2008 5:17 In reply to

    Re: Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

    Kaylene, thankyou for sharing your story. My daughter, Laura, also used to talk about wanting to kill herself before we found Dore. It was a very traumatic time for us and I'm so glad we found the programme. It hasn't always been easy to get her to do her exercises, especially during the progression phases of which there were many often turning her into a complete monster. There were times when we could quite easily have given up but we just rode the storm and carried on as we could see the improvement in her confidence and ability after each progression phase. Laura has been on the programme for 14 months and has just started on the completion exercises. It has been a very long and sometimes difficult journey but worth every second. Laura now loves to read and writes wonderful poems and stories. She is now at the expected level for literacy and science and just below the expected level for maths.(she had no understanding of maths before Dore). For those who are wondering if it's worth carrying on with the daily battle with exercises I'll post below, something that Laura wrote on the day she began her completion exercises. I have posted it before on another thread but I'll post it again on here in case you didn't see it. I think it says it all and it makes me certain that we did the right thing by sticking with the programme. I'm so proud of her.

     

    Finishing finally

    I am near the end a normal person finally

    I can reach my highest goal

    Balance is just like relaxing on

    The softest cloud in

    Heaven is it so easy now

    My life has arrived at the front door

    I can now open it the door is

    Not sealed I love

    My life at last now I know why

    I didn’t die

    I always wondered but

    Now I know that my life is so complete

    I can now be a human.

     

    Keep going with the exercises everyone. It can be very hard sometimes but so worth it in the end. It's not so easy without the regular assessments for motivation but it works. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!!!. Keep using the forum for support. Smile

    DEBBIExx

    Dore backup forum
    http//dore.usersboard.com/

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  • 08-21-2008 12:51 In reply to

    • gayna
    • Top 200 Contributor
    • Joined on 08-18-2008
    • Australia
    • Posts 5

    Re: Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

    Hi Carol. We're in Bunbury. Closer than Brisbane and England. My daughter is dylexic and been on DORE since Jan 2007.

    I have also been extremely frustratedby all this. (See my thread in Introductions also called Frustrated.)

    Katherine saw that there was going to be a story about DORE on Seven's news just as I was about to turn the TV off for tea. That is the only notifaction we got. We knew something was up. Bunbury had opened after eight months of being told it was about to open and then it closed in April. We were told to go the Booragoon centre so I rang to see if we could be transfered back to West Perth where we used to go, only to be told it was closing too.

    Katherine and I have lost all incentive to do the exercises but since talking to the lovely people here I feel inspired to keep going. I have promised Katherine a toy she want if we complete this book. Not having the assessments does make it hard, and knowing we are almost the last place that will be restarted when and if they start Australia again.

    Got to go

    Gayna

  • 10-30-2008 12:57 In reply to

    • Steven North
    • Top 200 Contributor
    • Joined on 10-28-2008
    • Bibra Lake, Western Australia
    • Posts 4

    Re: Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

    Hi Carol,

    I know how you feel.  I too was going to the Booragoon location because I live in Bibra Lake, right next to adventure world and found out by accident that DORE had closed.  It was in late May 2008 when I had an appointment and wasn't feeling that well so I went to phone them and found on the website that they had gone into liquidation and I was really upset.  The website said letters went out to all their patients and now I don't feel like I've been left out because I'm not the only person it has happened too.

    I was so unhappy that I stopped doing the exercises as well because it was so demoralising to know that they had closed and felt that because there was no communications from anyone that we had been deserted.  I've just started doing the exercises again because there was a huge difference, even if I was only doing it for 5 months.

     If you want, send me an email and I'm happy to talk more as I do truly understand.

    I'm 28 years old and have been diagnosed with four subtypes of ADHD and was over the moon when I found the DORE program.

  • 10-30-2008 13:36 In reply to

    Re: Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

    Hi Steven

    I am glad you emailed.  Sorry couldnt email you direct as you didnt leave your email address.

    I am unhappy as my son hasnt done the exercises for nearly 1 month now.  And he is getting bad again.  He got very sick and couldnt do the exercises for 2 weeks as he couldnt even stand let alone balance or anything.  He was dizzy all the time.  Then he got better and we got him to do the exercises for about 2 weeks but then just stopped.  I plea with him all the time to finish as he is nearly there.  But to no avail.  I get frustrated with him as it is still costing us as we had to put in under finance to get him on the program.  We still have to pay the amount every month.  I have tried to explain to him that we are paying for a program that he hasnt finished but still have to pay for it so it is better to just get on and finish the program.  But still nothing. 

    We were in Bibra lakes on the school holidays.  Are you interested in meeting alex and seeing if you can get through to him?  It might help as you are on the program too.  He hasnt meet anyone on the program.  I know there is a big age thing but when you talk to him you will see he is old than he is.  I would be very interested in meeting you at the lakes one week end and seeing if we all can be there for each other with this.  It is a pity that they went under as I think alot of kids could have benifitted with this program.

    My email is [edited] please email me back and let me know what you think.

    By the way how are you going with your exercises?  Hope you are finding the exercises?  Are you finding them getting easier (until you start a new lot of exercises).

     Regards

    Carol Mum of Alex (10 years)

     

     

  • 10-30-2008 17:20 In reply to

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  • 10-31-2008 2:48 In reply to

    • Steven North
    • Top 200 Contributor
    • Joined on 10-28-2008
    • Bibra Lake, Western Australia
    • Posts 4

    Re: Please help Frustrated and feel alone son refuses to continue exercises

    Hi Carol,

    I'm more than happy to meet and talk to Alex.

    I am finding the exercises getting easier and fun as I'm at the mental exercise stage.  There is one exercise that I really don't like and that is the Triangle Exercise - WH. It's the exercise that you have to sit on the wobble board with your legs out in front of you, slightly bent and your heels on the ground. Raise one of the legs off the ground and tilt from side to side and then tilt backwards and forwards.  I find my muscles disagree with this exercise and my leg muscles ache for two days.  But its all fun!

    I've included a link to a motivational booklet which I found on the table at DORE in Booragoon and it pretty much explains the true situation. I found that I related to it in more ways than one. http://www.motivation-tools.com/downloads/motivation_booklet_develop_a_career.pdf there are more books on this sites and DORE printed off a number of them. http://www.motivation-tools.com/index.html

     

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